4-year-old girl anxious to join group

Hi, I have a 4-year-old daughter who is generally a happy girl. However, whenever she is exposed to a group situation, i.e. singing in a group in school, joining a 'Little Gym' or any club for her to enjoy herself, she starts saying she doesn't want to join in.

Another example is that she likes playing soccer, kicking the ball with her dad and when we asked her if she wanted to join a soccer group, she said she doesn't want to because there are people looking at her. I know that she will enjoy playing soccer if she only gives it a chance but how do we encourage her without pushing her to join in?

Can anyone help?

It sounds to me like she is very self-conscious about what others think of her and quite possibly of making a mistake in front of others. This behavior usually is displayed by children who are highly sensitive about making mistakes or doing something wrong. The insecurity and fear she has about being "watched" in groups settings usually comes from people who are perfectionists and are afraid of making mistakes, so they avoid the activity all together. I would ask her why she doesn't want people to look at her. What it is that bothers her about people watching her. Was there a time when people were watching her that made her upset? It is important to let her know that it is okay to feel what she is feeling (since her fear is a result of a comment that she internalized negatively) and that you understand where she is coming from. She needs to develop trust and confidence in herself and have a safe place to try it out. Maybe at home is where you can start. You mentioned she will play soccer at home. Compliment her on what ever her strengths are. Is she someone who understands teamwork well? Does she help others? Is she good at listening to the directions and then applying it to the activity? Turn these into positives and highlight these as her strengths. Have her lead a group activity at home. Then as time passes ask her what activities she would like to try outside of home and let her know that you will take it step by step. Encourage her to talk about her fears of the situations and why she may be fearful of certain things. Also, positively point out things that she does well. Ask her what she thinks she does well or is good at. Try to get her to notice these things daily, when she is doing something solo, at school, with the family and then transfer this awareness to when she is in a group situation.
I hope it all works out! Let us know how it goes.